Proverbs 21:9
Better to live on a corner of the roof
than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Husbands, of course, can also be quarrelsome, but since this proverb speaks specifically of the wife; let’s consider her case. Someone has made the wry comment: “A man marries a woman and is surprised to find that she changes. A woman marries a man and is surprised that he doesn’t change.” She is surprised that he still puts off the work he needs to do – whether it be house chores, or paying bills, or even for his job. After months and years, he still is clueless about his lack of affection, how he takes her for granted, and how he hurts her feelings.
She is especially frustrated because she has corrected him and reminded him time and again. She has even scolded him, even tried to shame him into action. Indeed, she becomes upset with herself. She doesn’t like quarreling; she doesn’t like hearing herself fuss. Why can’t her husband understand this and just change a little?
The husband does need to change and will be held accountable before God for his sin. Meanwhile, the wife needs to exercise wisdom. If quarreling does not achieve results, stop quarreling. It only increases frustration for both wife and husband. Take time to understand what really motivates your husband. Study him. It is better for the wife’s welfare for her to act wisely through understanding than to stew over his laziness.
More importantly, she should take time to focus on the Bridegroom who is preparing her as a bride to be spotless and in splendor. She will only be able to love her husband well as she loves her Bridegroom. She can only love her husband according to how well she knows the love of her Bridegroom. She can only be as wise as she understands her Bridegroom’s wisdom by which he is working in her life.
Psalm 31
In you, Lord, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Keep me free from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
deliver me, Lord, my faithful God.6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
as for me, I trust in the Lord.
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not given me into the hands of the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.9 Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,[b]
and my bones grow weak.
11 Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors
and an object of dread to my closest friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.
12 I am forgotten as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
13 For I hear many whispering,
“Terror on every side!”
They conspire against me
and plot to take my life.14 But I trust in you, Lord;
I say, “You are my God.”
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from the hands of my enemies,
from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
17 Let me not be put to shame, Lord,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and be silent in the realm of the dead.
18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.19 How abundant are the good things
that you have stored up for those who fear you,
that you bestow in the sight of all,
on those who take refuge in you.
20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from all human intrigues;
you keep them safe in your dwelling
from accusing tongues.21 Praise be to the Lord,
for he showed me the wonders of his love
when I was in a city under siege.
22 In my alarm I said,
“I am cut off from your sight!”
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.23 Love the Lord, all his faithful people!
The Lord preserves those who are true to him,
but the proud he pays back in full.
24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the Lord.